Not So Great Santini

Another Parenting Landmark

There are so many movies I watched before my young brain was able to grasp the meanings, messages, themes, and humor. One of them was The Great Santini, starring Robert DuVall. It was on HBO quite frequently, and I watched it several times. In it, DuVall plays a military father with a tight grip on his kids, who naturally rebel against him in an attempt to live their own lives. As a young man with a frequently-strained relationship with my own dad, a lot of this movie resonated with me.

The film climaxes with a one-on-one basketball game between the oldest son and DuVall’s character. In it, the father first verbally and then physically abuses his kid, unable to accept that the young man has developed into an individual with strength, determination, and physical prowess. The entire family watches as Ben, the son, talks trash to his dad. They urge him not to, but Ben finally becomes the kid who beats their dad at anything (checkers, basketball, etc.) and lets the Colonel hear about it.

Ben wins the game by 1 and Bull (the dad) erupts. He yells at and insults his daughter, threatens his wife, and the entire family runs into the house. Unable to accept the loss, Bull demands that Ben continue the game to win by two. Ben walks into the house, with the Colonel bouncing the ball off the back of his head, calling him “Mama’s Boy” and telling Ben to cry a few tears.

It was a very impactful scene. It’s stayed with me through the years.