Greed sucks. That was my prevailing thought after watching an incredible episode of “Press Your Luck” last night. I mostly watch for the Whammies, both because the animation is hilarious & because it’s fun to watch spirits get crushed. Last night, I knew I was going to love the middle contestant, Zach. Bearing a slight resemblance to (one of my faves) Jason Segel, his exuberant spirit won me over quicker than you can sing “am I a mannnnn? Or am I a Muppet?”
Zach played the first round deftly, knowing that if he passed a few of his spins to his only remaining competitor (whammies were resplendent last night) that she’d likely collect her fourth whammy and this, be eliminated. Shrewd, perhaps, but are you there to make friends or money? So, he forces her to go 11 straight spins with no whammies, and within 4 spins…she’s outta there!
They bring Zach’s family on camera and talk to them. Lovely wife, adorable parents. One of the things I love about the rebooted version of the show is that they put a “personalized prize” on each Big Board. They clearly ask the families beforehand what their loved one is really into and the PYL people do a great job of crafting creative rewards.
So, Zach gets through the first few big boards. Loses a lifetime CostCo membership and a piano along with 25k (pocket change in Big Board Land) to a Whammy. Presses on. Then, we start to get hit with the emotions. Personalized Prize added to the board: his and hers electric Fords. With tears in his eyes, Zach explains that his wife goes to work each day with no vehicle. She’s sobbing.
Another personalized prize added: a Harley-Davidson trike. Turns out Zach’s elderly dad wants a hog but the old lady will only allow a three-wheeler. Know what we call those things in the motorcycle club circles? I don’t either; I don’t really hang in those circles.
One more personalized prize: a cruise to Antarctica! Zach’s wife loves penguins (I mean who doesn’t?)!!! Zach says “no polar bears in Antarctica though” so my girl Elizabeth Banks says “let’s throw in the North Pole too” and boom, North and South Pole Personalized Prize added to the big board.
So, Zach’s got about 3 rounds to work through, trying to hit big money or those amazing prizes (which turn into money as their cash value is added to the player’s total) while avoiding my beloved whammies. Side note: one of the animations last night was a whammy driving a whambulance and it was awesome. The path to a million bucks is by collecting 500k, which Ms. Banks gleefully tells us each week will be rounded up to a million. I’d never seen anyone come anywhere close to accomplishing this.
Zach suddenly becomes the Tiger Woods/Michael Jordan of the Big Board. Can. Not. Miss. BOOM! His and hers electric Fords! Mama don’t gotta hoof it to work no more! BOOM! North and South Pole vacation! Polar Bears AND penguins! BOOMSHAKALAKA!!!! Harley Trike for dad! I couldn’t believe it. Sarah and I were texting each other in excited disbelief. With the obviously inflated “cash value” of his prizes and the money he hit, Zach was sitting north of 400k.
Now, it might be easy for you or me to sit here while not in front of those bright lights, cameras, and cheering audience and say “no brainer: take the money and run.” Even under that pressure cooker, though, you literally JUST told us how your wife had no vehicle. Your pop wanted to play Jax Teller (man, when’s the last time someone made an SOA reference?). You won the vacation of a lifetime. No WAY is he gonna risk all that for three spins that might make him a “millionaire,” right?
Zach looked pleadingly at his family. “Look at all we’ve won!” Incredulously, they urged him to Press His Luck. Knowing this game, I knew what was about to happen…but just like at the end of Se7en (“John Doe has the upper hand”), knowing doesn’t make it any less shocking or painful. Zach, unable or unwilling to see how life-changing his winnings already were…told Elizabeth and us that he would, indeed, Press His Luck.
I’d been rooting for this lovable oaf, but his myopic greed turned me off like a fart in the face. I couldn’t wait to see my beloved Whammies annihilate his soul…and they did, second spin. Adios, loser. Lesson (hopefully) learned.
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